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 Joke of the day, feel free to post.

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dopolka
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dopolka

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PostSubject: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sat 05 Apr 2008, 21:39

How do you make a Micheal Jackson burger?
10 year old meat between 9 year old buns... lol
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supermanman
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 06 Apr 2008, 11:31

there were three priests in a boat full of kids when the boat sprung a leak and started to sink. the first priest said "Save the children!" the second said "fuck the children!" and the third said "Do you think we have time?"
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tw1gga77



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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 06 Apr 2008, 11:34

How do kno when Micheal Jackson as a hott date?
there is a tricycle in the driveway11 xD jocolor
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xXsiCK
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:00

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?
So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."
Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist. The clerk replies "Your house."
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dopolka
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PostSubject: Joke of the day.   Sun 06 Apr 2008, 13:57

Why don't old people have sex?
Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwhich?
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PostSubject: haha   Mon 07 Apr 2008, 18:57

yo mama so fat she walk in the "gap" and she fill it!

yo mama so big she was born on the 4th 5th and 6th of may!

yo mama so large that she wears a wrist watch on each arm because she covers 2 time zones!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Wed 09 Apr 2008, 18:13

A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.
The man decided, What the hell, Ill try it.
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldnt do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, What?
He heard, This is the police. Whats going on down there?
The man replied, Im checking out the rear axle, its busted.
Well, you might as well check your brakes too while youre down there, because your truck rolled down the hill ten minutes ago.
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xXsiCK
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Wed 09 Apr 2008, 19:20

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
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tw1gga77



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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 11 Apr 2008, 00:54

Why did you see Gomikid's mom fronzen in mid air?
she jujmped and got stuck
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 11 Apr 2008, 13:08

Whats the speed limit of sex?............68 because at 69 you have to turn around!!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 11 Apr 2008, 13:11

Two men and a woman are trapped on an island and canít figure out how to leave the island. The trees didnít float and couldnít be made into a raft and so on and so forth.

So eventually nature takes its course and both of the men end up having sex with the woman.

However the woman starts feeling bad about having sex with both the men and canít pick one over the other. She gets so torn up about it that she committs suicide.

So now there are only the two men stuck on the island, and one thing leads to another, nature takes its course...

One day one of the men says to the other "I donít feel right about this, I mean, I think this is wrong. We have to stop." so the other man is very understanding and agrees with the other and they decide to stop.

The next morning the two men bury the woman.
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tw1gga77



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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 11 Apr 2008, 14:09

i dont get that 1 caprecce^^^^
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 11 Apr 2008, 14:19

So one day there was a girl on the beach, she had no arms no legs. She was crying, a man walks by asks wat wrong .She says"i have never been hugged by a boy befor" he huggs her and runs of embrassed

She was crying again. anyother man walked by and asked wat is wrong?.she said"i have never been kissed my a boy beffor" he kisses her and runs of embrassed

She was crying again(shut up!!!) a man other man walks by and asks wats wrong.
she says " i have never been f*cked befor" the man looks around .


picks her up and tossed her in the ocean and yells "your f*cked now!!!"
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sat 12 Apr 2008, 12:23

I"m a blonde but these are still funny!!!!!


Why do dumb blonde girls have bruises in their bellybuttons?


Because blonde boys arenít that smart either.


There was a blonde and she said everybody hates me i am going to hang myself by the sidealk to show people what they have done.So she gets up in a tree with a rope and jumps out of the tree.A guy walking down the street said what are you doing.She said hanging myself because nobody likes me anymore.The guy says why is it around your waste.She says oh i dont want to hurt myself.

1. Why was the dumb blonde staring at a milk carton for so long?
Because it said concentrate.

2. How do you get a one armed blond out of a tree?
Wave.

3. One day there was a blonde (of course) and she decided to hang herself.
So an hour later a lady say the blonde with a rope tied around her waste, the lady says, "What are you doing?"
The blonde says,"Iím hanging myself."
The lady says, "Shouldnít the rope be around your neck?"
The blonde says, "Well I couldnít breathe."

4. How do you drowned a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff at the bottum of a pool.
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Fri 09 May 2008, 00:48

What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What is the difference between a whore, a nimpho, and a blonde?

The whore says, "Aren't you done yet?" , The nimpho says, "Are you done ALREADY?" And the blonde says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the celling beige..."
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Ragonphoenix
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PostSubject: Cannibals   Sun 11 May 2008, 18:15

3 guys were on a plane from UK to US. The plane's engine suddenly blew up and crashed landed on a island. All three of them were captured by cannibals and taken to their leader.

The leader said to the 3 guys 'Each of you bring me back 10 fruit'. So off they went.

The 1st guy came back with 10 apples. The leader said to him "If u can put all 10 apples into your ass without making an expression we will not eat you". After the 2nd apple the guy started crying so the leader command the cannibals to behead him.

The 2nd guy came back with 10 grapes and the leader said the exact same thing to him. On the 9th grape the guy started laughing so he too was beheaded.

On his way to heaven the 2nd guy caught up with the 1st guy. The 1st guy asked him "Why were u laughing? You were so close". The 2nd guy replied "I couldnt help it. I saw the 3rd guy coming back with 10 PINEAPPLES!"
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 11 May 2008, 18:54

3 nuns were walking down the street. The 1st nun asked the other 2 nuns "You know what i found while i was cleaning the priest's room yesterday? A stack of porn mags so i burned them". The 2nd nun said to the other 2 nuns "You know what i found while i was cleaning the priest's room the day before? Condoms so i punctured holes in them". The 3rd nun fainted.
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PostSubject: BITCH OR WHORE   Wed 14 May 2008, 08:26

What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
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PostSubject: Daughters   Thu 05 Jun 2008, 16:03

A
Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a
short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex
life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard
from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: 'Nescafe'!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out
the Nescafe jar.
It said: 'Good till the last drop'.



Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.


The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding,
and the card read: 'Rothmans'
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes,
and she read from the pack: 'Extra Long. King Size'
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her
daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom
waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing.
Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words
' British Airways'
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the
pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways.
The ad said: 'Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.'



Mom fainted!
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dopolka
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Thu 03 Jul 2008, 19:34

come on ragon, anyone gotta have more jokes than this.

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sharpeshooter14
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Thu 03 Jul 2008, 20:51

CHUCK NORRIS CAN BEAT DOPOLKA IN COD4!!!!!!!!!haha
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Sporadic_Fire

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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sat 05 Jul 2008, 13:24

The blonde was staring at frozen orange juice, not milk.

Also, How many RPMs can you get a woman up to? 68 because when she hits 69 she starts blowing a rod.

what do you call two chinese in a 69? twocanchew.

what do you call two skunks in a 69? Odor eaters.

why is 77 better then 69? Because you get eight (ate) more.

What is the Square toot of 69? eight somethin'

what do you call a severe overbite? when your eating p*ssy and it tastes like Sh*t

what does eating P*ssy and the mafia have in common? one slip of the tongue and your ind deep sh*t.

I could go on for hours.....Just like when I am eating P*ssy.
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sharpeshooter14
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 11:12

What do you get when you cross a t**f and a uLST?

Pwnage!
uLSt baby! Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
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dopolka
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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 04 Jan 2009, 09:52

Why do black people smell so bad??
God made it that way so blind people could hate them too.

If a Jew and Pizza got in a fight in an oven, who would win?
The Jew would, because he has home field advantage.

What do you get when you stick a knife in a baby's head?
I don't know about you, but I get a boner.

How did Ronald McDonald get aids?
He believed in Magic

Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

How does a redneck woman know her daughter's on the rag?
Her son's dick tastes funny

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ghostfacekilla19

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PostSubject: Re: Joke of the day, feel free to post.   Sun 04 Jan 2009, 14:49

whos the best at COD?
dopolka. ohhhhhh lol best joke here
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